Frustrated

So for almost a year now i've been quiet, supportive and laid back about the whole situation of my husband not working.  He was laid off back in March and has yet to find work.  I'm starting to panic now.  I feel pressure of being the only person working..and the fact that i'm furloughed has really not helped at all!  I am literally making a poverty level salary right now...i'm pretty sure of that.  Then my medical insurance went up and put me even that much farther behind.  The situation of knowing that I will NEVER make more money in my current position is very frustrating...yet I can't risk finding another job in this economy where I will end up bottom of the totem pole with no status should layoff come up.  At least where I work, it would take a while for them to get to me should layoff's arise.  I should be feeling grateful that I have SOMETHING...yet i'm not.  I'm currently having a pity party.  And I think I deserve it.  I've spent a year ignoring the severity of the situation and keeping a positive attitude and recently its hitting me that I feel too much pressure and I am not happy with the current situation.  My husband is in NO way to blame.  He's a hard worker.  He spends every single day looking for work only to come up with dead ends.  I'm SURE this is even more frustrating for him.  He gets passed up all the time by others who either have more experience or don't have a strong latin accent.  YES i'm sure he's been discrminated against because of this.  And these are $10 an hour jobs and he's still not getting them.  The economy is horrible right now.  I'm feeling pressure to find a part time job to ADD to my full time job.  No one is asking me to do this, but i'm feeling that I should.  This will all be very sad for me as it will mean less time with my husband and my 3 year old son.  But what else am I to do?  I can't force people to hire my husband.  Its all out of my control and that just makes me feel helpless.  I think my recent bantering of wanting to leave California so badly lately is MOSTLY due to this....this and my EXTREME fear of earthquakes...I should never have been born in California for this fact...seriously.  But that is a whole other story.  I just don't know what to do right now.  Things at this point seem helpless to me.  I told you I was having a GIANT pity party.  But right now that's where i'm at.  Maybe in a few days or a month i'll crawl out from underneath my pity party...but right now i'm there.  Table for one.

TELL ME WHERE TO LIVE!!!

LOL okay so finding out where you want to live is a royal PAIN IN THE ASS!!!  So much research put into this...interrogating others as to WHY they like and don't like where they are living.  Who's economy is decent...who's sucks etc.  Its all very mind boggling.  So I went to this website:  findyourspot.com and type in all my info.  It asks you a series of questions and then according to your answers gives you a list of places that would best suit your likes/dislikes...here is what mine came up with: 

Jacksonville Florida
Houston Texas
Orlando Florida
Charleston South Carolina
Agusta Georgia
Fort Worth Texas
Tampa Florida
West Palm Beach Florida
Nashville Tennessee
Dallas Texas
Oklahoma City Oklahoma
Memphis Tennessee
Gainsville Florida
Tallahassee Florida
Greenville South Carolina
Galveston Texas
Clarksville Tennessee
Hattiesburg Mississippi
Clearwater Florida
Braedenton Florida
Beaumont Texas
Port Arthur Texas
Tulsa Oklahoma
Atlanta Georgia

Interesting that there is NO WEST COAST in there anywhere!!  Which is where I currently am.  I think someone is telling me to live in Florida or Texas or that region.  Well, truth is, we have kicked around Florida.  SO...maybe Tampa?  Not sure yet.  When Oscar took this quiz, he got all these PODUNK towns in the South and East!  VERY odd places i've never even heard of...and with Snow..which i'm NOT fond of.  SO we've decided to take this quiz together to see what we come up with compromising.  This is no easy feat let me tell you..and this is the easy part!!


I need a drink.

California....NOT what it used to be....

Remember when California was considered the best place to go?  The best weather, pretty people, palm trees, gorgeous beaches etc?  Everyone saw California on the TV and immediately wished they could live here!!...Well its all a lie people.  Its a lie.  Unless you are a person of a wealthier stature, then California is for the SHITS.  I kid you not.  California has become the dumping ground for complete CRAP.  Los Angeles...most of it is nasty.  They don't show you that on the TV.  Usually on the TV they show you parts of Beverly Hills or upper class neighborhoods that make everything look so darned awesome!  But the reality is...most of Southern California is smog infested....we can BARELY even see the mountains...the public school system sucks..you have to worry about whether your child will actually learn something or whether he'll come home having been harrassed by other kids all day.  The schools are overcrowded, everything is chaos.  My child is only 3 and in a WONDERFUL daycare where he learns alot from a wonderful lady who is a retired school teacher.  I want to get out of California before my child becomes school age.  I want him to grow up in a HOUSE that we can actually AFFORD, in a nice neighborhood with other kids, a nice school where he learns the things he needs to learn.  A place where we don't have to Upper Class just to own something nice.  A place where people actually look at you and maybe even speak to you...a porch, a backyard...maybe even 4 seasons.  Is this too much to ask?  California has become in my opinion one of THE most horrid places in all of the U.S. with a FAILING economy that has very little chance of recovering itself in this decade.  Its so hard to be able to just pick up and move though....finding work, finding a place to live...most people won't hire you over the phone...yet there is no way of moving unless you first secure a job in another place...at least that is how I feel.  I'm not keen on the idea of moving with nothing waiting.  I have to have secured a job with benefits before I can uproot my family.  But I shall keep on viewing the possibilities out there....

Anyone out there in Blogville LOVE where they live??  If so, tell me about it...

Skinny Bitches!!!

Yeah you know who you are!!!!  Why is it that SOME of us have to basically starve just to NOT be fat??  Then others can just sit there with plates of fries, ginormous hamburgers, platers of cake, loads of hot fudge sauce and then STAND up and burn it off!!  Jeepers...I just want to know how this is fair???  Man when God was handing out the perks, I sure as heck didn't get even close to being in that category!  Basically i'm a person who HAS to eat around 1000 calories or LESS just to be a normal weight!  I feel like if I even go over 10 calories I gain a pound!!  They say it takes 3000 calories to gain 1 pound...I think they LIE.  I know there have been times where I didn't even eat CLOSE to 3000 yet i'm pretty darned sure I looked and felt bigger....yet when I eat like a BIRD, I look fine.  So then of course whenever I eat something I shouldn't (which only happens like once a MONTH) then I immediatly feel guilty afterwards and the next morning when I wake up..sure enough...I look like a bloated cow!!  This I shall add to the top of my list of unfairness in life LOL...

Now i'm off to go eat a head of lettuce for lunch.